完全沒料到科工館之旅會花去我一個下午的時間，原本計畫的柴山抓猴行只好另擇吉日，直接改前往西子灣準備看落日。

中山大學和市區有一座西子灣隧道，第一次環島時就看過，只不過當時沒有膽量把腳踏車往裡面騎，之後騎摩托車來更不可能衝進去，也懶得下車用走的，這次我不想再錯失這機會，還是停下車，背起背包，跟附近散步的居民、剛開學或即將開學的大學新鮮人們一起體會。隧道沒有想像中的長，但走過去再走回來也花上不少時間，原本已經逐漸昏暗的天色，越來越有看不見夕陽的危機，便不在中山大學內久留。

到中山的校門口前，有一個三級古蹟「雄鎮北門」，他是一個小小的城門，裡面有過去的砲台遺址，不過現在好像是軍事管制中，鐵絲網圍起來也進不去。這裡的遊客不多，空地上也是滿滿的停車位，從這裡走下去到中山校門前走道，不失為一個好方法。

最近高雄的天氣不好，天氣陰陰的，夕陽被擋在整片的烏雲後，在想像中的降落，走道旁的石頭上，石頭縫間，一直是自強聖地，不少男男、女女，當然最多的還是男女窩在裡頭聊天卿卿我我，看得我心裡直淌血，只好把他們拍下來回去公佈在網路上。XD

昨天跟 hana 學姐聚餐，討論到高雄有啥好去處，就提到了現在改建為餐廳的「打狗英國領事館」，從岸邊抬頭一望就看到了，通往領事館的是一座階梯，遊客不知是上去吃東西還是順道去參觀，車水馬龍地充滿了整座階梯，當然又不乏各式各樣男男女女，那天還有一個吹笛子賣藝的老伯，坐在階梯的一半處，吹著高亢的梆笛，路過的男男女女們說：「他還在吹啊！」

之前閒暇無事在金石堂翻攝影的書籍，裡面有一本專拍古蹟的，正好拍了打狗英國領事館，作者用的就是超廣角鏡頭，果然，我們站差不多的角度，我怎麼也沒辦法把領事館整個納入畫面中，反正我只是紀錄用，也就沒差啦！

領事館的周圍全成了餐廳的領地，擺滿了各式各樣的桌子，打著神秘的紫色和泛黃的燈光，環繞四周，可以看到高雄港、對面的旗津，雖然景緻不見得比得上軍艦岩，但也算不錯；服務生來去穿梭在又是男男女女的各桌間遞茶端飯，沒吃晚餐的我聞香食指大動，無奈菜單上的標價一個人是花不下手的，只得多吞幾口口水充飢。

領事館裡也開放參觀，幾個較大的房間當然也成了嘉賓的筵席，另外有幾個據說以前是關囚犯的地牢，成了大家捉迷藏、躲貓貓、試膽量的地方，裡頭其實不暗，只不過狹小的空間，岩石牆壁和地板，以前的人犯在這應該會被關到幽閉恐懼直到精神崩潰吧！

回到山下，搭上旗津渡輪，準備再次前往旗津，話說香港天星小輪前一陣子已經成了歷史，不知道有沒有一天旗津渡輪會走入歷史？不過旗津渡輪有個神秘的現象：有一家超大的公營渡輪，另外有幾個小型的私人渡輪，總會聽到私人渡輪的老闆或老闆娘聲嘶力竭的招攬生意，但船上的顧客總是寥寥無幾，每次經過，會有點想搭搭看，就算是贊助他們一樣，不過後來總不知什麼原因而放棄了。

旗津渡輪站下去後就是夜市了，如果只是單純逛夜市，走到海邊散散步，其實可以把車丟在鼓山，人過來就好。星期六的晚上很熱鬧，有一間寺廟被成串的燈泡點綴的金光閃閃，門口兩位賣藝的小女生奏著樂器唱著歌，如果不像我這麼趕，慢慢散步吃東西，便是一種悠閒。我拿著烤小卷，走到海水浴場旁看著漆黑的海灘，一路上內心直掙扎：「我到底要不要吃會有寄生蟲的燒酒螺？」

離開鬧區後，驅車殺往旗津燈塔，一路漆黑，上坡也陡，小心翼翼的騎著以免重蹈摔車覆轍。燈塔大門已經關閉，只能遠遠的看著它轉啊轉，入口前階梯坐著一群應該是剛返校不久出來夜遊的大學生，討論著班上同學的八卦消息，想起自己正逐漸遠離這樣的時光，不禁唏噓。之後往另一個方向走，走到與雄鎮北門對望，共同把守打狗港的旗津砲台，這裡連燈塔微弱的燈光也沒有，除了一對男女糾纏在一起外就沒看到其他人，我不知是凡心大動還是 rod cell 狀況不佳，爬上城垣時一不小心滑了一跤，原本已經不太好的傷口，又受到二度傷害，唉～閃人閃人。

原本想沿著大馬路把旗津騎一圈再搭渡輪回高雄的，不過騎著騎著忽然看到過港隧道的標誌，才想起其實以前表哥曾經騎著機車帶我走過一回的，只不過到了對岸是完全不熟悉的高雄，計畫，總是趕不上變化的。

今日相片

過了一整個搞不清楚狀況的高長第一天，今天總算跟 VS 和 R 相認了，不過他們也沒什麼太理我，自顧自的查完房後就散光了，後來被 call 進刀房上刀，早上只做了 neck dissection 後，我因為要跟門診就先出來了。下午的門診也是站，一整天站下來只有個累字，過去在 clerk 時的熱情，經過半年多的消磨，似乎已經殆盡。

中午回宿舍休息時，忽然有種 depressed 的感覺，一種不想當醫生的感覺，一種人生地不熟的徬徨，這才是新環境造成 stress 的真正原因吧！沒想到第一天沒事，第二天反而發作了。

跟門診時，想小偷懶一下，站久了腳也是會酸的，沒想到才溜到隔壁去兩分鐘，就被學長抓了回來，還唸了我一頓說我不認真，唉～自己想偷懶被唸也怪不了誰。

今天是第一個沒值班的晚上，當然要出去把高雄好好逛逛，便打算沿著長庚附近的道路，看看有什麼熱鬧的、好吃的，騎了半天，不知是眼睛不夠利還是真的沒啥東西，騎了好遠看到一家「小騎士」，忽然懷念起以前吃炸雞的美味，便決定進去回味一番，沒想到付帳時才驚覺，這小騎士好像不是以前的德州炸雞，是 pseudo 來騙錢的。~”~

既然都騎這麼遠，也懶得直接回去，便決定到愛河去看看，找到個河濱小公園把車停好，便沿著河岸走了一圈，順便拍拍照。

第一次來愛河是兩年多前的台大巡迴，那時我也是一個人走了一圈，這兩年間沒什麼機會再來，結果現在還是一個人又走了一圈，連拉著另一個人來的機會也沒了，世事就是如此難料。

愛河邊的情侶檔們沒有想像中的多，反而是一些附近的住戶，老夫老妻們出來散步，一些老人們出來抬槓，一個闔家同樂的好地方。電影圖書館前面大螢幕播著我不知道的影片，一些人專心的看著，如果這是一種我可以享受的悠閒，那不知該有多好。

拍夜景腳架是必備的，我把相機對準著河邊一個心型的雕刻和遠方高樓的燈火，隨時準備用小光圈、長快門抓下這畫面，正巧一對情侶走過，那女生急急忙忙的拉著男生快步通過，卻沒想到我的快門早就打開，而他們便在 CCD 上留下一道白影，或許這道白影遠比心型雕刻、閃爍的湖面、高樓的燈光更能代表愛河吧！

走得累了，心也累了，還是回宿舍吧！

今日相片

During this year, I had experienced so different life. I had tried to live with only myself. Traveling, mountain climbing, practicing hard on musical instruments, all made me temporarily forget what made me sad and cry. I also tried to be a good clerk, learning as much as I could in VGHTPE. So many things had happened that I almost couldn’t accept that one year had passed.

I know it had all passed and couldn’t return any more. Life is still going on. I need to get up from where I had fallen down. I have to take care of myself by myself. Also, I’d like to wish Kilo to take care of herself very well, not to be blown down by her busy work. This is the only thing I can do for her.

I had finished the OPH clerk training this week. At the OPD and the operation room, I studied very hard. The nurse said she hadn't seen any clerk as earnest as me. Oneday, Dr. Lin asked if I'd like to become a ophthalmologist. I answered that may not be possible because I wasn't at the top. "The grade isn't the most important thing.", he said, "It's more important to marry a good wife."

Sigh, at this time, at this department, how couldn't I think about Kilo and feel sad when hearing this.

I left and after I bought my dinner, Kentu called and told me that Kilo left too. Even so, I still didn't go to meet them. My mind was messed up. I thought Kilo didn't have to go. Her leaving appears that she really don't understand me thoroughly. Did she think her sacrifice could make me relaxed and going back?

But maybe I really don't understand her thoroughly either. She might think my action as a sacrifice, and I also messed up her mind. That's the reason she left. But what should I do? How could I treat everything just as fine and not happened?! How could I watch them talking, laughing and enjoy the dinner?!

Maybe many people think my reaction is very immature, but that's me and my belief. Yes, we don't understand each other. And the situation may last, forever.

"Between a separated couple, the only thing to maintain is DEMEANOR, not CONTACT."

Because the other side knows you very much, maybe knows the most in the world. What you like, the most private of you, etc. You can not become the original status forever. So, maintain only the demeanor, no contact.

Last Chinese Valentine’s Day, I designed a cover based on the picture above and ordered two EasyCards for Kilo and me as the Valentine’s gifts. I also used the picture as my laptop’s background image since then. Today, when I was using my laptop, my mom walked behind me and saw that image. She said that Kilo and I look very alike. My brother was nearby and he agreed with her.

Haha… does it mean that we are so-called “husband-and-wife faces” ?

2006.02.11 UPDATE: The pictures below are my background and the card cover.

Tags: Face, Alike

I was so shocked as hearing this. They seemed very well in the school and I don’t even hear that they had any arguments. Although their parents don’t like each other, that’s a old news many years ago. I think they will finally overcome the problem all the time. At last, they still separated. ‘They are not match each other in many fields.’ said Chang-Guei (章桂). I don’t know the status of their interaction, so I can’t say anything. I’m a little sad hearing this.

But there are still something nice heard recently. Chang-Guei got in love with Yuan-Chun (遠均) also at the final-exam period. It is amazing for me. I don’t know that they do something together and don’t think they will be with each other. Anyway, bless them having a happy life. Jie-Yang (傑陽) is also be with a junior school syster. I am still confused about the reason of the separation of he and Shin Dung (董欣), but wish they both can find their own happiness. (Jie-Yang does, and Shin-Dung… Hehe, it is said that there are so many of my classmates are willing to do anything for her. :p)

During the Clerk training, I had heard so many interesting things I don’t know. Maybe living in the First Boy Dorm separates me from my classmates so much and so long. It may be the chief shortcoming of the First Boy Dorm.

後來某一天我要睡前把燈都關了, 忽然發現原來這隻小猴子是螢光的呢!

話說, 葆如怎麼會買小猴子送我呢? 根據她的說法是: 因為我每次到屈臣氏聽到他的廣告歌有一段很像猴子叫的音樂就會很興奮… (￣▽￣) 不過這隻小猴子真是超可愛的啦啦啦~~~~

我的是: 渡邊 健太 (Watanabe Kenta)

葆如的是: 長谷川 小百合 (Hasegawa Sayuri)

嗯嗯… 玩玩看… ^^a

小百合生日紀念一po …