The first two were drawn on the day before the ophthalmology exam. I was very fidgety at that time, so I tried to draw something to let me calm down. The first one is saying that I was overwhelmed by the deity of music. I tried very hard but still couldn't understand the absolute pitch. The second is saying that I felt very depressed about myself. I had many shortcomings, for instance, easily to be agitated, impatience with others who don't receive my suggestions, etc. I thought I am a anti-society person and not suitable for this world.

The day after drawing these two, a very important thing happened to me. It brought me into the darkness of life. I did really want to suicide at that time. That was a terrible period for me.

The last one was drawn a few days ago, when is Kilo's birthday. She is now struggling with the exam of physician license. I'd like her to just concentrate on it. I'd like to cheer her on. (In Chinese, to cheer someone on is pronounced the same as to fuel up. ^^a)

Hoo… Maybe I should also cheer myself on, shouldn't I?

Last Sat., we had held the Hospital-choosing Conference, the most important one for us. Firstly, we had order numbers produced by the computer program by saka, followed by drawing lots in turn.

I had a computer random number of 78. When my turn was coming, I felt a little nervous and could feel the palpitation, the same as the night before the Exam five years ago. In my turn, when I drew the lot from the box, there's nothing in my mind. I forgot to pray for blessing, but the God still blessed me that I got No. 28.

There would be one fourth of us that couldn't choose the hospital unrestrictedly. Besides those already decided to go to VGHKS, the safe margin was about 90 – 95. It was to say that I could choose where I'd like to go. It was really a relaxation for me to know that.

But some of my classmates were not as lucky as I was, especially Paichi. I could feel her sadness at the moment she drew up the lot. She and her boyfriend hjround are quite nice guys, but why they had bad luck at such an important moment? After signing down my choice, I was thinking about this all the time. Hope they can have a good result finally.

In Sat. evening, I also heard something about the follow-up of the conference. They were all bad news. I felt contempt for their actions. But they made me realize again that a university is alike a tiny society. People would do or get what they want by hook or by crook. If the rule was once set by all, people who broke this would be the public enemy for us.

Although the follow-up may not be my matter, I still hope sincerely the class won't be split up after this event.

I don’t want to be chased by the handouts. Because I am one of the Academic Affair Chiefs, I have to prepare the handouts for all. But we have four hours of Gynecology & Obstetrics per week, and sometimes there are totally four different teachers for these hours. Therefore, I have to ask the teachers for the handouts, trying to resolve the problems while sending email, and then print them. This is the routine work. Although I don’t have to edit conotes, I don’t want to be chased by these handouts, either. XD

This is my second drawing. It's done on last Wednesday, when I went to the routine practicing of YMChmusic. On that day, we started to practice a new song of this semester, The Song of Wine (酒歌). I played the cello and the melody was a little hard for me. On that day, WMQ also came and played the double bass. He said that song was the one he played the double bass for the first time. Hearing our playing made him to remember his childhood. We talked and practiced until very late, and after coming back to the dormitory, the melody still filled in my mind. That's why I drew this down.

Since this semester started, I felt very depressed and annoyed. Until last week, I bursted out. I tried to draw something and wanted to buy a pen tablet. But when I saw the price, I gave up. So I used the primitive tool, a pencil and paper. When I took out the pencil in the brush pot, I found its lead was too blunt. So, before I started my first drawing, I had to sharpen it. But I didn't have a pencil sharpener, I used a knife instead. Finally, I could start to draw something.